Short and Sweet Sundays | Journaling Thoughts for Ikoku Nikki #03
Heya! Welcome to an edition of *Short and Sweet Sundays*, where we sometimes break down 1-minute or fewer scenes from any given anime.
This week, I wanted to offer some thoughts on *Ikoku Nikki* episode #03.
Asa was living in her head, and it was not a great neighborhood. She was 15 and carried a vague but constantly misplaced self, one that naturally compelled her to retreat back into the familial halls of school, friends—really anything that existed before the epoch of her parents’ sudden and immediate departure. And at this particular time and juncture, she wants to return to normalcy. She wants to return to her graduation as a teenager: a regular teenager, a sensitive teenager, a regular, sensitive teenager whose compounding descriptors end just before the train stops at *“...who just lost their parents.”* Yet for all her attempts to return to her previous station in life, the reality is that she can no longer go back home, either figuratively or literally.
At her graduation ceremony, once the faculty informs everyone of her parents, Asa will be known only as that girl with the dead mom and dad. But what she’s angry about isn’t the embarrassment or the awkward glances from her peers, it’s that once this fact is spoken aloud, it can never be taken back.
[Like the fermentation of pickles, it can never return to being cucumbers.](https://preview.redd.it/wobmqdy2vifg1.png?width=975&format=png&auto=webp&s=a243a25fc30413a91725b75704c7c89c999a6232)
However, for Asa, she clings to a world in which she still has a mother and a father, she clings so tightly that she becomes entirely numb.
She’s numb in where she wanders, aimlessly following the well-worn footprints of her former life that that lead her down into an empty dwelling.
[To call apartment #702 her home would mean no more than calling #701 or #703 the same after she cleared out her belongings.](https://preview.redd.it/glwmgwv6vifg1.png?width=975&format=png&auto=webp&s=97e87554d2301c99b47399ba8b86f1793a0fd4db)
She’s numb to the heat of the bathwater as it scalds her feet to the point of flushing red, her body registering circulation without warmth.
[Socks being something similar to what a thin and mundane barrier would be.](https://preview.redd.it/qxdeoq6avifg1.png?width=975&format=png&auto=webp&s=bf66aa1741d9ba76e70672e53dfe28c5c0282f4f)
And she’s numb to her own emotions, holding fast to Makio’s advice that her feelings are her own business.
[\\"You told me my feelings were my business.\\"](https://preview.redd.it/tnvo6g8xvifg1.png?width=975&format=png&auto=webp&s=6337fa23b00c02c690784a61d7b493edc22140fb)
But just because her feelings are her own doesn’t mean she can neglect them. Or, more precisely, neglecting them is not a healthy way forward. [She can keep ignoring her best friend Emiras’ messages](https://imgur.com/a/w1QbYlX), but doing so only delays the inevitable weight of that compound descriptor: *“…who just lost their parents.”* To let her blood freeze over, to let her heart turn away at this would only lead back towards the bad maps of herself.
https://preview.redd.it/aykb75j2wifg1.png?width=975&format=png&auto=webp&s=f965f0aeefb2bee9ece813f2c5cb68f5ef722020
Through Makio and her childhood friend, Daigo, Asa is reminded that the bonds we share with others are what define us. It’s through the Daigos and Emiras of the world that she begins to melt away the numbness, rediscovering a version of herself that still exists.
https://preview.redd.it/wytzyqe5wifg1.png?width=975&format=png&auto=webp&s=212a6bb350dd9a2be568cb97a3b7f1c42b4a69c8
And once Asa acknowledges her best friend, she begins to find the language to describe what home really is, the place where she can exist fully, feelings included. A home isn’t just a concrete building where you sing Justin Bieber songs, but a shared space shaped by the people within it. Homes may be temporary, but the bonds that build them are irreplaceable.
This week, I wanted to offer some thoughts on *Ikoku Nikki* episode #03.
Asa was living in her head, and it was not a great neighborhood. She was 15 and carried a vague but constantly misplaced self, one that naturally compelled her to retreat back into the familial halls of school, friends—really anything that existed before the epoch of her parents’ sudden and immediate departure. And at this particular time and juncture, she wants to return to normalcy. She wants to return to her graduation as a teenager: a regular teenager, a sensitive teenager, a regular, sensitive teenager whose compounding descriptors end just before the train stops at *“...who just lost their parents.”* Yet for all her attempts to return to her previous station in life, the reality is that she can no longer go back home, either figuratively or literally.
At her graduation ceremony, once the faculty informs everyone of her parents, Asa will be known only as that girl with the dead mom and dad. But what she’s angry about isn’t the embarrassment or the awkward glances from her peers, it’s that once this fact is spoken aloud, it can never be taken back.
[Like the fermentation of pickles, it can never return to being cucumbers.](https://preview.redd.it/wobmqdy2vifg1.png?width=975&format=png&auto=webp&s=a243a25fc30413a91725b75704c7c89c999a6232)
However, for Asa, she clings to a world in which she still has a mother and a father, she clings so tightly that she becomes entirely numb.
She’s numb in where she wanders, aimlessly following the well-worn footprints of her former life that that lead her down into an empty dwelling.
[To call apartment #702 her home would mean no more than calling #701 or #703 the same after she cleared out her belongings.](https://preview.redd.it/glwmgwv6vifg1.png?width=975&format=png&auto=webp&s=97e87554d2301c99b47399ba8b86f1793a0fd4db)
She’s numb to the heat of the bathwater as it scalds her feet to the point of flushing red, her body registering circulation without warmth.
[Socks being something similar to what a thin and mundane barrier would be.](https://preview.redd.it/qxdeoq6avifg1.png?width=975&format=png&auto=webp&s=bf66aa1741d9ba76e70672e53dfe28c5c0282f4f)
And she’s numb to her own emotions, holding fast to Makio’s advice that her feelings are her own business.
[\\"You told me my feelings were my business.\\"](https://preview.redd.it/tnvo6g8xvifg1.png?width=975&format=png&auto=webp&s=6337fa23b00c02c690784a61d7b493edc22140fb)
But just because her feelings are her own doesn’t mean she can neglect them. Or, more precisely, neglecting them is not a healthy way forward. [She can keep ignoring her best friend Emiras’ messages](https://imgur.com/a/w1QbYlX), but doing so only delays the inevitable weight of that compound descriptor: *“…who just lost their parents.”* To let her blood freeze over, to let her heart turn away at this would only lead back towards the bad maps of herself.
https://preview.redd.it/aykb75j2wifg1.png?width=975&format=png&auto=webp&s=f965f0aeefb2bee9ece813f2c5cb68f5ef722020
Through Makio and her childhood friend, Daigo, Asa is reminded that the bonds we share with others are what define us. It’s through the Daigos and Emiras of the world that she begins to melt away the numbness, rediscovering a version of herself that still exists.
https://preview.redd.it/wytzyqe5wifg1.png?width=975&format=png&auto=webp&s=212a6bb350dd9a2be568cb97a3b7f1c42b4a69c8
And once Asa acknowledges her best friend, she begins to find the language to describe what home really is, the place where she can exist fully, feelings included. A home isn’t just a concrete building where you sing Justin Bieber songs, but a shared space shaped by the people within it. Homes may be temporary, but the bonds that build them are irreplaceable.
Commentaires
Just that innate human desire to do... something. To feel... something. All while pushing your emotions away, refusing or struggling to process your grief, so you numbly do mundane things like open every cabinet or leave your feet in the scalding hot water because it's... not nothing, not total stillness, not total numbness.
Hopefully I’ll be able to get to it this week.
[](#mugiwait)
Quick note: Her friend's name is Emiri.
[](#sadholo)
Always changes Japanese names into something else.
Not surprised this show inspired you to write this up, there's been plenty of good moments with the story and the direction so far
>
[Like the fermentation of pickles, it can never return to being cucumbers.](https://preview.redd.it/wobmqdy2vifg1.png?width=975&format=png&auto=webp&s=a243a25fc30413a91725b75704c7c89c999a6232)
[well said](#justright)
> To let her blood freeze over, to let her heart turn away at this would only lead back towards the bad maps of herself
[](#binoculars)
> Homes may be temporary, but the bonds that build them are irreplaceable.
Perfect way to end it and a point I love seeing in different stories. Whether it's a place to call home or a found family
[](#ilovethiskindofshit)